dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
