Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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