i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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