she woke up with a sticky ear
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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