i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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