i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
