i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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