he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
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Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
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Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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