my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
