You can't special order awesome
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize