She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
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He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway