dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella