Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.