As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
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There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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