Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
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Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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