today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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