I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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