So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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