if i can run in heels then i can drive
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge