Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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