margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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