normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
