Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.