Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.