that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
