I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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