i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something