You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
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