Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
