You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize