yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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