I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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