i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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