Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.