I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is wine microwaveable?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.