How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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