Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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