i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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