3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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