Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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