As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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