I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize