You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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