i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?