I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.