Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
