I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.