You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.