we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
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If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth