i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.