umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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