You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize