I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
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Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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