i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
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Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
BRING THE BAGELS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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