All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize