he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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