Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
