Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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